Modern Day
Prayers
Lord help me relax about
insignificant details beginning
tomorrow at 7:41 AM Eastern Standard
Time.
God, help me to consider
people’s feelings, even if they
are hypersensitive.
God, help me take responsibility
for my own actions, even though
they’re not my fault.
Lord, help me to not try to run
everything. But if You need
some help, please feel free to ask
me.
Lord, help me to be more relaxed
and laid back, and help me do it
exactly right.
God, help me to take things more
seriously,
especially laughter, parties and
dancing.
Lord, give me patience and I mean
right now!
God, help me to finish everything
I star....
God, help me not to be such a
perfectionist. Did I say that
correctly?
God, help me to do only what I
can and trust you for the rest.
And would you mind putting that in
writing?
Lord, help me to be less
independent, but let me do it my
way.
God, keep me open to the ideas of
others...wrong as they may be.
Lord, help me keep my mind on one
th....look, a bird...ing at a time.
Lord, help me follow established
procedures today. On second
thought, I’ll settle for a few
minutes.
A Child's
Perspective A little boy opened the
big family Bible and, with
fascination, examined each page as
he turned them. Suddenly
something fell out of the Bible. He
picked it up and looked at it
closely. It was an old leaf
from a tree pressed between the
pages. “Look what I
found”, the boy told his Mother.
“What have you got there,
dear?”, the mother replied.
With astonishment in his voice,
the young boy responded, “I
think I found Adam’s suit!”
What If He Gets
Loose? The preacher was wired for
sound with a lapel mike attached to
a long cord. As he moved
around the platform in front of the
church he bacame more and more
animated. His circular
movements caused him to continually
become entangled in the cord.
This entanglement only served to
frustrate him and increase his gyra
tions. Watchng this entire
performance was a little girl
sitting in the third pew. She
leaned toward her mother who was
seated next to her and whispered,
“If he gets loose, will he hurt
us?”
Signs You've Had
Too Much of the 90s You try to enter
your password on the microwave.
You have 15 phone numbers to reach
your family of three.
You e-mail your son to tell him that
dinner is ready.
Your son e-mails you back and asks,
“What’s for dinner?”
Your idea of being organized is
multi-colored post-it-notes.
You refer to your dining room table
as the flat filing cabinet.
You consider 2nd Day Air delivery as
painfully slow.
You hear most of your jokes via
e-mail, instead of in person.
Cleaning your dining area means
getting the fast food bags out of
your back seat.
You now think of three espressos as
“getting wasted”.
Every TV commercial has a web site
address at the bottom of the screen.
You bought a new computer. A
week later it is out of date and
costs half as much.
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