The Wisdom of Youth
by John Hamilton, DREI, ABR
In a recent project, young people
were asked to go into deep thought and
come up with a profound perspective. Let
me share a bit of their wisdom.
One 15-year-old suggested, "I
believe we should live each day as if it
is out last. That's why I don't have any
clean laundry. Come on, who wants to
wash clothes on the last day of their
life?"
A 13-year-old shared, "Give me
the strength to change the things I can,
the grace to accept the things I cannot,
and a great big bag of
money!"
A 6-year-old claims, "Home is
where the house is."
Another 6-year-old figured out,
"For centuries, people though the
moon was made of green cheese. The the
astronauts found that the moon is really
a big, hard rock. That's what happens to
cheese when you leave it
out."
A 5-year-old pondering the afterlife:
"When I go to Heaven, I want to see
my Grandpa again. But he better have
lost the nose hair and the old-man
smell."
Another 5-year-old states, "It
would be terrible if the Red Cross
Bloodmobile got into an accident. No,
wait. That would be good, because if
anyone needed it the blood would be
right there.
From a 10-year-old: "Often, when
reading a good book, I stop and thank my
teacher. That is, I used to, until she
got an unlisted phone
number."
A 12-year-old reflects: "The
only stupid question is the one you
never asked, except maybe, 'Don't you
think it's about time you audited my
return?,' or 'Isn't it morally wrong to
give me a warning when, in fact, I was
speeding?'"
In deep contemplation, an 8-year-old
says, "If we could just get
everyone to close their eyes and
visualize world peace for an hour,
imaging how serene and quiet it would
be. Until the looting started
..."
From a 7-year-old: "I once heard
the voice of God. It said, 'Vrmmmm.'
Unless it was a lawn mower."
And from a 9-year-old:
"Democracy is a beautiful thing,
except for that part about letting just
any yokel vote."
Answering machine classics
It's hard to call someone today and
talk to a real person. We seem to
be constantly listening to recorded
messages from people who aren't there or
those screening their incoming
calls.
If you want to freshen up your
recorded message here are a few classics
to consider.
"Hi, now say
something."
"Hi! My answering machine is
broken. This is the
refrigerator. Please speak very
slowly and I'll stick your message to
myself with one of these
magnets."
"Hello, you are talking to a
machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need
siding, windows, a hot tub or their
carpets cleaned. They give to
charity through the office and they
don't need their picture taken. If
you're still with me, leave your name
and number and they'll get back to
you."
"This is not an answering
machine. This is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After
the tone, think about your name, think
about your reason for calling and think
of your phone number. I'll then
think about returning your
call."
"Greetings, you have reached the
Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We
know who you are and what you
want. So at the tone, please hang
up."
"Hi. I am probably
home. I'm just avoiding someone I
don't like. Leave me a message and
if I don't call back, it's
YOU."
"If you are a burglar, then
we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the
phone. Otherwise, we probably
aren't home and it's safe to leave a
message."
"You're growing tired.
Your eyelids are getting heavy.
You feel very sleepy now. You are
gradually losing your willpower and your
ability to resist suggestions.
When you hear the tone you will feel
helplessly compelled to leave your name,
number and message."
"Hi, this is George. I'm
sorry I can't answer the phone right
now. Leave a message and then wait
by your phone until I call you
back."
Creativity is the key to success
The principal of the high school heard
constant complaints from the
janitors. It seemed the girls were
kissing the mirrors in the girls
restroom to blot their recently applied
lipstick. The janitors had real
difficulty taking the lipstick
"kiss" off the mirrors.
The principal made announcement after
announcement asking the girls to stop
that practice. Lipstick continued
to appear on the mirror. Finally
in frustration the school principal
announced that the Senior Prom would be
canceled if the lipstick continued to
appear on the mirror. Lipstick
continued to appear on the
mirrors.
The principal, not wanting to cancel
the prom, came up with a creative
solution. He made an announcement
that the prom was back on. He
further stated that the janitors found
an easy way to clean the lipstick off
the mirror, even though they
hadn't. He announced, "The
janitors tell me that using a commode
brush to clean the mirror, takes the
lipstick right off." No more
lipstick was found following that
(creative) announcement! |
