And You Thought You'd Heard 'Em All
Everyday thousands of appraisal inspections are conducted at properties
all over America. These are conducted by professional valuators who encounter
circumstances and situations that almost defy description.
During recent Polley Associates' Appraising Continuing Education courses
we've heard some of the unusual, if not bizarre, encounters on the Appraisal
Front-line. Below are a few of the classics reported to date.
How to Avoid High Property Taxes
If the assessor can't see it, they can't tax it. That had to be the
motive of one property owner whose property was inspected by an appraiser
for lending purposes. Thinking they had the wrong the address or directions
to a 1400 square foot ranch style residence, our appraiser approached a
40' x 50' pole barn that appeared at the designated location. It just looked
like one of many pole barns around the area until the appraiser went inside.
To their surprise, constructed INSIDE the barn a beautiful ranch home complete
with roof, siding, windows, doors and all you'd expect in a detached single
family dwelling. Built entirely inside the pole barn it's likely the roof
and siding will have an extended useful life unless the lack of sunshine
depresses the occupants to remove the barn for a real "coming out party."
"Not likely", says the owner; not while the tax assessor is roaming around.
So far, low pole barn taxes.
Watch Your Step...
... Dog in the Area. Many property owners take special precautions to make
the appraiser's visit pleasant and free of unwanted encounters. One such
owner had a rather large dog who was confined to a large fenced back yard.
Knowing the appraiser would be touring the entire property the owner was
careful to have the dog tied and secure. The unusual additional precaution
taken by the owner involved the numerous and sizable dog droppings throughout
that large fenced back yard.
Knowing that different folks have different solutions to similar problems,
this property owner is definitely listening to a strange drummer. The owner
carefully fabricated little cloth flags, attached them to foot long lengths
of heavy wire and planted a flag in every pile of dog droppings. His thought
pattern had to include that such a marking would properly warn any appraiser
to avoid "stepping in it". It worked... but couldn't he have scooped up
the scattered hazards much easier. Just picture a yard covered with warning
flags. Watch your step.
Appraiser's Striptease
In an atmosphere of bonding, many of our appraising CE students admitted
that they have experienced a hasty disrobing during an appraisal inspection.
The subject was brought to light when one of our CE students was warned
by a friendly neighbor when approaching a vacant property scheduled for
inspection. The neighbor suggested that the appraiser might NOT want to
enter the house since a few minutes ago, the gas man came running out of
the house and desperately stripped out of his shoes, socks, pants and shirt
right in the driveway. It seems that fleas can live in a vacant house up
to 2 years and are sure glad to see a warm blooded victim come into range.
The fleas are what "inspired" the gas man to ignore his inhibitions and
disrobe. Upon hearing of this experience, our CE students were quick to
admit they too have participated in similar activities on back porches,
basement stairwells and behind hedges to obtain relief and avoid taking
fleas into their vehicle.
Lighter Side: Picking on the appraiser
In a business like ours, many things can go wrong and complicate a transaction.
It's common to look for a "fall guy" and someone to blame. Into this
environment comes a common candidate to take the hit... the friendly
appraiser. These dedicated professionals are likely to become the
subject of less than glowing accounts. For example ...
Fifty-one days!
The first three appraisers from Acme Appraisal Company filed into the
bar and ordered two bottles of champagne and ten glasses. After popping
the cork on the first bottle the initial three toasted loudly shouting,
"Fifty-one days, fifty-one days"
Soon four more appraisers joined the party, filled their glasses and
with the early arrivers toasted again with "Fifty-one days, fifty-one days"
A moment later the final three appraisers arrived, the second bottle
was opened and all glasses filled. Once more the boisterous toast
went up, "Fifty-one days, fifty-one days!"
The bartender couldn't contain his curiosity and pulled one of the appraisers
aside. "What's with the 'fifty-one days' cheer?", he inquired.
"We're so proud." answered the appraiser. "We just got a kid's
jig saw puzzle with a picture of Big Bird from Sesame Street. The
box said '2 to 4 years' but we put it together in 51 days!"
You Get Three Wishes
An appraiser, a lender and a real estate agent were all attending a
conference in Mexico. After a wild night on the town the three ended
up in a Mexican jail. There was little evidence that they would be
able to get out any time soon. The lender, appraiser and agent languished
there for days with no end in sight. Early one morning their guards
moved them to another cell. As the three examined their new surroundings
they found a brass lamp. As they rubbed the dust off the lamp, a
magic Genie appeared. The Genie addressed the threesome by saying,
"You know the routine, three wishes, one for each of you." The lender quickly
stepped forward and said, "I wish I were out of here!" Poof, he was gone.
The agent went next, "I wish I were out of here!" Another poof, he was
gone.
The appraiser, paused to ask the Genie a few questions. "Am I
correct in assuming the agent is gone?" The Genie nodded. "Am I correct
in assuming the lender is gone?" Again the Genie nodded and asked, "What's
your wish?" "It's obvious, since the lender and agent are gone, I'll have
a Bud Light!"
Back to Appraisal
Menu |
